Breaking Kyle
by dreamschemer
Summary: Love triangles are dangerous when a sociopath is involved. SxK, one-sided CxK. Rated for language and adult situations. I don't own SP .
1. Chapter 1

A/N:Please google the word 'sociopath' and click on the first link'Profile of a Sociopath'. After reading this, can you think of any South Park character who might fit this description? Any? I'll give you a hint:he's fat, and wears a poof-ball hat.

Yes, I'm talking about Eric Cartman. I mean, is it really so surprising that Cartman could be mentally unstable? Throughout the now 13 seasons of the show, Cartman has done some pretty f*ed up Sh*t. The only reason we find all of these things he does funny is because they _aren't happening to us_. So, I decided to expand on this idea for a story. I've always thought that out of all the boys, Cartman was clearly the most gay, and had an unnatural fixation on Kyle. I mixed that idea in with several years of self-loathing and hatred, threw in Kyle and Stan's mutual unspoken love for each other, topped it off with years of honed manipulation, and tada! I came up with the plot for my story. Hope you enjoy.

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**Breaking Kyle**

Ch. 1- Some Days

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Some days, Cartman thought, could make a person want to go on a homicidal rampage. Today was one of them. The tubby boy bit back a huff of anger as he sat down at the lunch table next to his two old…whatever the fuck they were.

Kyle was helping Stan out with his math homework. "So, you just set both fractions to the same common denominator like so, and then add." Kyle instructed, while Eric eat. Cartman snorted; he knew Stan wasn't learning anything, from the way he was staring at Kyle's face. The redhead was oblivious to this fact however, as he took a bite from his sandwich.

"Stan, did you get what I did there?" Kyle asked around a mouthful of turkey. Instead of getting a reply, Stan wiped a crumb from the taller boy's mouth. Kyle blushed. "Stan?" He questioned, slightly flustered. Cartman rolled his eyes, unable to take any more of the sickening sight before him.

"I don't know why you even try tutoring the dumb hippie," Cartman bluntly interrupted. "He's too busy staring at Wendy's rack to listen to a fag like you." An outright lie, Cartman knew, but one that did the job. Eric noticed the minute sagging of the Jew's shoulders, and inwardly smirked.

"What the fuck crawled up your ass and died, Cartman?" Stan asked. "And I _wasn't _staring at Wendy's tits," Stan retorted, though his statement was directed just as much towards Kyle as Cartman. Eric watched in annoyance as a small, subtle smile returned to the Jew's face.

"Whatever dude, let's get back to work." Kyle returned,

Eric bit his lip in an effort not to wring the pretty little jock's neck. Despite keeping their newly budding feelings relatively discreet, Cartman knew without a doubt that Kyle and Stan were slowly falling in love and Cartman didn't like it. He did not like it. One. Bit.

About a two years ago, Eric had come to a rather surprising conclusion: Despite (or maybe because) of their constant bickering and fights, Cartman had a massive boner for the jew rat. It wasn't an easy realization. The first time Cartman figured out why he couldn't leave Kyle alone, he nearly blew chunks. He explained away his feelings as some twisted shit that all teens go through, and brushed it off as a phase. Yet as time passed and Kyle started dating, Cartman found himself strangely irked by the sluts who went after the boy.

Next thing he knew, Cartman was engineering circumstances that would lead to Kyle's breakup with whatever whore caught his interest. Social manipulation had always come easily to Eric, so thwarting Kyle's romantic endeavors was child's play.

After breaking up Kyle and Red for the second time a few months ago, Cartman had started to recognize that he wanted something more. If Cartman could decide who Kyle couldn't date, he should also decide who Kyle _could_ date. Which would of course be him, Eric Cartman.

Cartman began orchestrating out his plans: Eric blackmailed their History teacher into having him and Kyle as partners for their term paper, he diverted Kyle's female fanbase by telling Bebe the gossip queen that Kyle was a flaming gay, and even joined the science club to spend more time around the fro-headed jew.

Indeed, Cartman had estimated that after only a couple of weeks of degrading Kyle's confidence and self-esteem, he'd be able to make the Jew his. If only Stan and Kyle hadn't suddenly become conscious of their boners for each other. Cartman knew how deeply in love they were, and how dangerous this new element was to his plans: if one of them confessed their love, Cartman's chances of fucking a voluntary jewrat were close to nil.

The two friends continued to work as Cartman's brain whirred with strategies. Suddenly, Eric was inordinately mad: the bastard fucking jew rat was his, damnit! Kyle would live by his rules, and die by his hand. After all, that was the reason Eric saved the boy years ago when he moved to California: only Eric could kill him and his jew family.

Cartman knew without a doubt that he owned Kyle. The redheaded faggot had no right to anything, let alone to lust after his best friend's cock. Cartman was generous enough to allow him that friend. 'Kyle will learn to lust for _my_ cock,' Cartman thought. Eric licked his lips as he watched Kyle blithely toil over Stan's math homework. The thought alone aroused Cartman, as he carefully adjusted his pants.

Kenny ran over. "Guys, guys!"

Kyle looked up, irritated. "Kinda busy here, Kenny." At the blond boy's look, Kyle huffed. "What?"

"Craig and Clyde are fighting out in the parking lot, right now!" Kenny said out loud, catching the whole cafeteria's attention.

There was a small stampede as kids rushed towards the exit. Stan predictably jumped up with everyone else. Kyle, just as keen on seeing the fight, lagged behind as he started quickly stuffing his homework into his bag.

Finally, Eric thought, they were alone. Cartman smirked as he fell in step with the jew. "God, could you be any more of a fag, Kyle?" He casually stated as they walked out of the cafeteria.

Kyle gave him an odd look. "The fuck are you talking about, Cartman? Is all that blubber cutting off circulation to your brain, leaving you incapable of coherent thought?" Over the years, Kyle's disses had become more loquacious. Kyle sped up.

Cartman was completely unfazed, as he jogged to keep up with the redhead. "What I'm talking about is the way you eye Stan like he's a piece of man-candy. Gahd, it's disgusting." Kyle didn't lose his stride as he exited the building, but his body stiffened. _Gotcha_, Eric thought.

"I'm not gay, you fucking dumbass! Stop cheesing already." Kyle responded hotly. He looked around." They're at the east parking lot, you think?"

"I _think_ you're in the closet, Faggy McFagster. Seeing you pant after Stan is beyond disgusting." Cartman egged on.

"_Goddamnit_, Cartman!" Kyle swung around, his hands balled into fists. Cartman knew Kyle was close to snapping now. Now, he knew, was the time to make the cutting blow.

Cartman continued talking, eyes gleaming. " And the funniest part about it is that the damn hippy is as far away from queer as humanly possible! He'd be so disgusted if he knew how you lusted after him. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd stop hanging out with you-"

Pain exploded across Eric's jaw as Kyle slugged him. "Ow! Sonofabitch!" Cartman staggered back, nursing his jaw.

"You're such a fucking ASSHOLE!" Kyle screamed at him. "I am _not_ like that, you prick! Even if I was, Stan would _never_ stop hanging out with me! We're best fucking friends!" By this time most of Kyle's anger was spent, and all that was left was a burning anxiety written across his face.

"Who are you trying to convince, me, or yourself?" Despite his throbbing jaw, Cartman managed a mean laugh. Kyle tensed up.

"Fuck you, you're not worth my time," He harshly bit out and flipped Eric the finger before jogging away. Eric watched him go, smiling to himself. He knew that his comments had hit their target, and that Kyle was now questioning the strength of his friendship with Stan.

Shattering self confidence was tricky work. In this case, it was especially tricky because Kyle was a confident guy. He'd had years of experience deflecting Cartman's barbs, and was used to being singled out as different because of his heritage, intelligence, and coloration. But Cartman knew he could only handle the mean comments because he had the support of his friends and family.

It was this base of trust and support that Eric had to strategically erode. Cartman doubted that the Jew had told anybody about his sexuality, so Kyle didn't know if he had his friends' and families' support on this issue. This made him weak, vulnerable. Perhaps breakable. Cartman was excited to find out.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: So, sorry this took so long to come out. I've gotten a bit lazy, so sue me. Anyways, I'm working on the next chapter so you can expect it to come out a whole lot sooner than this one. Tell me what you think about it, and if you have a few ideas please tell me. I've got a general jist of where this story's going, but having a more full representation would help!

Hope you enjoy, dreamschemer.

Ch. 2

"You bitch!" Token roared.

Cartman leaned back and watched the mayhem from the corner, a smile on his face. Token was all but foaming at the mouth as he gestured towards his brand new mustang, it's bright red paint job keyed. "How could you do this, Wendy?!"

A small crowd had formed around the couple, interested in the spectacle at hand."I didn't do _anything_ to your precious ride, asshole!" The black-haired girl retorted, her arms crossed over her chest in a defensive manner. She clearly felt uncomfortable being watched.

Token however was on a mission."Bullshit!" He exclaimed. "A few days ago you told me you'd key my car if I ever cheated on you!"

"I was kidding around!" She returned with an anrgy yell. Then she paused, thinking. "So you're insinuating that you've been cheating on me?" Wendy asked, practically growling. The crowd 'oohed'.

Now it was Token's turn to be on the defensive. "No, I'd never cheat on someone!" The handsome boy retorted as all eyes fell upon him. "I'm not like _you_."

Wendy gasped, and then Cartman heard the distinct sound of a slap despite his sitting ten feet away near the school entrance. Wendy fumbled for words as she tried to keep from crying. "I can't believe… How could you…" She paused to wipe at her eyes before looking directly at him. "We're through, Token."

With that she stomped off. Bebe quickly came to her distraught friend's aid as Token watched the pair walk away, face ashen. The crowd began to dissipate now that the confrontation was over, but Token remained standing as if transfixed. A few minutes later, he finally got into his car and left.

Cartman quietly chuckled to himself, rolling a quarter across his knuckles as Kenny slouched out of the building."Hey man, do you have a light?" he as tiredly as he fumbled for his pack. "Goddamned lunch lady confiscated mine. God, I wish this day was over."

Ever since Kenny turned fourteen, he had been working part time jobs to help feed his family. While the ability to eat better was a vast improvement to his old lifestyle, all the extra work took a lot out of the blond.

"Give me a cigarette and I'll think about it," Cartman returned airily, feeling a little full of groaned as he pulled out an extra cigarette and passed it to

his heavyset friend.

Kenny inhaled deeply and relaxed against the stairs."What're you so smug about?"

"What do you mean?" Cartman asked sharply. He specifically tried to be hard to read, but Kenny was very perceptive. However, it was worth being around that guy because Cartman often got important nuggets of information from Kenny's keen observance.

"Dude, you look like the cat that got the cream. Have you finally blackmailed some bitch to have sex with you?" He asked, nonchalant.

"Long time ago, poor boy," He returned, taking a puff. "You missed quite a show, though. Wendy broke up with Token."

"Really?" He wondered. "What a bitch. I thought she was going to stay with Token. I mean, after that mess with Stan two years ago…"

"Yeah," Cartman returned, making sure his face remained neutral. That particular incidence was one of his best designed plans. He'd worked on driving Stan and Wendy apart for _months_. He continued to roll the quarter across his fingers.

By then, Kenny had finished his smoke, and was watching the coin. "Hey dude, mind if I bum that quarter? I really wanna coke."

"Fuck no," Cartman returned. Kenny rolled his eyes before swiping said coin away, but Cartman made no attempt to get it back.

"Asshole. What's the red shit on it, anyways?" Kenny asked as he walked away towards the cafeteria.

"Hell if I know," Cartman responded, smirking.

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Later that night, the four boys were playing video games at Kyle's house. Stan had originally wanted to have an evening to shoot the breeze with Kyle alone, but Kenny and Cartman had shown up and they couldn't refuse.

Things had been going well, but as the night progressed it became clear that something was up with their dynamics. Cartman seemed a little more smug, while Kyle had been more reserved.

"Come on out and fight me, Stan!" Kenny taunted.

"Like hell," Stan returned. "Could somebody _please_ kill Kenny before he nukes me off the map?"

"Fuck no! I hope you both die, you losers!" Cartman responded vehemently.

"Sorry Stan, a little busy," Kyle said. A moment later Cartman cursed as the redhead killed his character, yet again."

"You butt-munching bastard!" Cartman stared at Kyle malevolently, knowing the boy had been going out of his way to kill him. Kyle gave him a cocky smirk before focusing once more on the game.

Despite being a bit pissed, Cartman knew he had the upper hand. "So did you guys hear about Token and Wendy's breakup today?" Cartman asked.

Kenny cast an accusative glance at the boy, while Stan stared. Kyle paused the game and tried to run interference; virtually any talk about the black-haired bitch would reduce Stan to an emo.

"Anyone want a soda?" Kyle loudly interjected.

"She-wait- they _what_?" Stan returned, completely ignoring Kyle's question.

"I _said_ they broke up, you thick jock," Cartman cackled. "Dumb bitch lost it and keyed Token's car."

"She'd never do anything like that!" Stan defended.

"Oh yeah?" Cartman's eyes glowed with malice.

"Whoa there," Kenny said, trying to discharge the tense situation. " Cartman, shut the fuck up. You know how Stan is about Wendy."

"I know he turns into an emo pussy fag," Cartman bit out, surly.

"Come on guys, let's keep playing Halo," Kyle threw in.

They picked up the game controllers and began playing again, but it was obvious that Stan wasn't really in to it. After getting gunned down from for the fifth time without so much as a kill to his name, Stan gave up.

"I think I'm gonna head out now, guys."

"Kay dude," Kyle said, looking a little glum. "Well, I guess I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah," Stan said, looking miserably at his shoes. "Later."

Kyle wanted to stop Stan and say something, but he didn't know what to say. Getting up to show his best friend to the door, he queitly added, "Call me later if you want to talk about shit, alright?"

"Yeah, thanks dude." Stan knew that true to Cartman's words he was in fact acting like a emo pussy fag, but he couldn't help it. Despite the years since their horribly messy break-up, Stan still wasn't fully over Wendy Testaburger. For a while, he was sure she was the girl he wanted to spend his life with; he could easily imagine living in a sunny suburban home with 2.4 children and a dog and be perfectly happy doing it.

Kyle shut the door, an unhappy frown on his face.

"What a wimpy shit," Cartman commented.

Kyle jumped; he hand't noticed Eric so close. "Fuck you too, fatso." He growled. "Why'd you have to go mentioning Wendy around Stan anyways?"

"Just making a point," He airily stated. "A point that never in a million years would he go for a skinny jewrat like you,"

Kyle went ramrod stiff. "Jesus christ, not this again," Kyle muttered, fixing Cartman with a vile glare. "Despite whatever twisted shit runs through your brain, I am not and _never have been_ chasing after Stan." He sighed tiredly; he already knew he'd be getting an earful about Wendy tonight, and didn't have the patience to deal with a cracked out Cartman. "Just fuck off, would you? I'm getting a migraine."

"Ooh, I'm so sorry. Stan's blubbering about that hippy bitch getting you down?" Cartman baited, and Kyle's hackles rose.

"Seriouly dude, fuck off-"

"-Because you know he'll never care for you as much as her?" He finished.

"Cartman, would you _seriously FUCK OFF_?!" Kyle shouted.

Kenny finally slunk in, giving Cartman a speculative glance. "C'mon dude, let's get out of here,"

Cartman stared at the surly jew."Fine," He responded. He felt that he'd done enough damage for the night; there was no need to push the envelope.

Kenny and Cartman didn't miss the distinct door slam that followed their exit as the two began to walk towards their respective homes. They could walk the same direction for a little while, before Kenny had to take a left and cross over to the shady part of town.

Their walk was silent, except for the occasional crunch of hardened snow. "Dude, why'd you do that?" Kenny broke out after a few minutes.

Cartman bit his lips. "Do what? Rile up those two-"

"You know exactly what you did," Kenny abruptly responded. He whipped out a cigarette. "Why are you fucking with Stan and Kyle?"

Cartman was silent for a moment. He knew Kenny was more perceptive than the average idiot, and had to tread lightly. "I hate those guys. It's what I do."

"That's bullshit and you know it," Kenny countered. "What crawled up your ass and died, Eric?" He looked at the heavier boy, honestly interested.

Cartman sulked. "Goddamned slut's bringing them home again." Despite the years, Lianne Cartman still kept up her lacivious ways and slept with any guy with a fifty dollar bill.

Kenny's hostility immediately disappeared. "I'm sorry about that, dude. That sucks." Kenny knew that despite how Eric acted, his mother's whorish ways really affected him.

Over the years, it had only assisted in making him become more angry and vengeful. Cartman never told the other two about his mother's nightly visitors, mostly because Kenny was sure he didn't want them to rip on him. In fact Kenny was only privvy to this information by mistake, when Mrs. Cartman once mistook him for a john.

"D'you, you know… Want to stay over at my place for the night?"

"Fuck no," was his usual, peremptory response.

Kenny bit back a sigh of frustration. "Yeah. Well. See you later man," He jogged off across the street.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Look at me! I'm updating, and in a timely fashion, no less! Well, here's the next chapter. The story's going to pick up pretty soon now, seeing as after this chapter the stage is going to be set. Let the games begin!!

I'd also like to give a shout out to my lovely reviewers. A big thanks goes to The Brat Prince for giving some constructive criticism- I kept your advice in mind and tried to clarify times and fights a little more this chapter. I'd also like to thank Velvet Black Rose for reviewing both chapters of my story in one go. You don't know how happy reviews make me, and I really appreciate feedback! Finally, thanks to jusAgurl93x, too. Hope this update was fast enough for you.

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"I just… the way Wendy talked about Token, I was sure that they were really serious about each other." Stan said, melancholy. "But then again, after dating her from fifth to tenth grade, I was sure we were serious too. It just made it easier, to think that I couldn't compete with true love or some bullshit. I mean, we weren't perfectly happy together, what with our frquent break-ups, but…"

On the other side of the line, Kyle was fiddling with paperclips, bored and slightly annoyed. "Yeah dude, I know. You've told me this before," He said with a patience born of dealing with his best friend's moping for several years now.

"Kyle, do you believe in true love? Do you think there's one special someone out there for you?" He asked.

Kyle, who was trying to link another clip to his paperclip chain, paused. "What? I mean… I dunno dude, haven't really thought about it." A lie.

Truthfully, Kyle had thought about it a lot. But the only person who'd ever fall even close to the category of being his true love was the very boy on the other end of the line, and Kyle would rather die than relay that information.

Had he simply not found 'the one' yet, or was 'the one' standing right in front of his nose, as he was beginning to wonder? Did this supposed true love even exist, for that matter? Kyle knew this path of thought was pointless. Despite being an ignorant douche, Cartman was right on one count: Stan would never be interested.

"Really?" Stan asked, surprised. "I guess I'm more of a girl than even Cartman makes me out to be," He chuckled.

"Dude, fuck Cartman," Was Kyle immediate, and rather vitrolic response.

"Kyle, calm down man. You've been letting the fatass get under your skin too much lately."

"Yeah, I know." Kyle huffed. "He's just such an asshole." By now, Kyle was mostly pissed at how easily Cartman had read him. He had been able to exploit Kyle's muddled emotions only a few days after he'd _realized_ they were muddled. Not that he was seriously thinking of Stan in that way… That would be stupid.

"Wendy must have had a good reason to break up with Token," Stan continued, and Kyle gladly focused on the conversation once more. "I don't believe for a second that she keyed his car. Sure, she does some morally questionable things from time to time, but it's very rare and you'd have to push her buttons for quite a while. Wendy's too nice, too morally obligated to do the right thing, to do something like that." Stan's voice took on a dreamy tone. "She'd only do something wrong in order to fix an injustice."

Kyle had grown sick of hearing his friend wax poetic about Wendy years ago, and today was no different. "Dude, she's not _that_ perfect," He muttered. "What with…That mess between you two and all." He gently phrased. "You do know what she did to Miss Ellen, don't you?"

"I know," Stan returned listlessly. "But it just doesn't seem like her. Even when she _does_ go against her morals, she doesn't do it in halves. I mean, keying a car? You'd more likely find her planting C-4 in Token's ride."

"Hm. I guess you do have a point there," Kyle said, mildly puzzled as he linked the last paperclip to his chain. "But love makes people do crazy, stupid things." He linked both ends, making a paperclip necklace.

"I guess you're right," Stan returned. "I just always assume that she'd come up with some clever scheme. Since she's so smart, and talented, and-"

Trying to think up a way to change the subject but coming up short, Kyle impulsively asked the question he'd been thinking about all night: "Stan, are you planning on getting back together with her?"

The line grew quiet for a time as Stan mulled over the question. Finally, after nearly a minute of silence, he responded. "No…. Not this time around."

Kyle couldn't help but feel a twinge of happiness, but it was only because he was glad that Stan wasn't getting back into a destructive relationship, nothing more. Really. "You're serious, Stan??"

"Dead serious," Stan gravely returned. "I know I'm still somewhat in love with her, but it's clear that we'd never work out. The fact that she cheated, well… I realize that through that action, she showed that she had no respect for me." After a moment he added, "Besides, I want to play the field again, try something... new."

"Yeah, kay." Kyle scoffed. "As long as 'playing the field' doesn't involve drunk-hooking up with Powder like last time, dude."

Stan groaned. "Will you ever let me live that down?"

"Are you kidding? I'll still be laughing about it in my grave," Was Kyle's snarky, chuckling response

"I hate you," Stan grumbled.

"Yeah, sure. So I'll see you tomorrow?"

" Yep."

"Later."

*******

The next day after school, Kyle sat in his room and mulled over all that had transpired that week

It had been an eventful week, what with Craig and Clyde's fight over leprachaun gold a few days ago, the dinosaur people on Sunday, and Wendy and Token's break-up yesterday. All this happened, and it was only Friday.

Stan had been remarkably chipper after their late night talk yesterday, which was surprising considering how minimally Kyle's previous pep talks had affected him. Instead of the usual moping and general moodiness that accompanied anything to do with Wendy, Stan was smiling and bantering with the guys like usual.

It might have been Kyle's imagination, but it felt like Stan had been going out of his way to hang out with him even more than usual (as if they didn't hang out a lot already). The very thought gave Kyle a tiny burst of happiness, and he did his best to repress it. Even if Stan was going out of his way to be nice to him, it was probably only to better shield himself from the 'Wendy Effect'.

The doorbell rang, and Kyle couldn't help but groan in annoyance. Cartman was coming over today so they could work on the twenty page history report together. Kyle couldn't believe his bad luck to be paired with the fatass- the paper counted as a full quarter of their final grades, and he was dubious that Cartman would do anything, let alone his fair share.

"Bubala, would you mind getting the door?" Kyle's mother called out from the kitchen.

"Getting it," He said as he swung open the door, then promptly turned around and walked towards his room. There was no need for niceties or formalities when Cartman was involved- any polite greeting would be returned with a crude retort.

Kyle heard the door shut as the fatass followed, and geared up for a brutal study session. "I took out a few books about the American Revolution from the library today, so that's where we can start," He resolutely began. "We can focus on any specific aspect of the Revolution that we want, so I thought we'd flip through them for a little while to get an idea of what we'll want to focus on."

When Kyle sat down at his desk and began flipping through a book, he was surprised to find Cartman sitting down beside him and doing the same thing. After a few seconds of Kyle staring at the foreign sight of the fatass working, Cartman snapped a 'what?!' and the redhead focused back on his work.

The next hour passed with eerie calm as the pair worked diligently on their report. Every once in a while one of them would comment on a potential focus for their paper or crack a joke at the founding fathers' expense, but that was the extent of their conversation.

As time passed Kyle grew increasingly high strung, expecting that this was all some sort of ploy to lower his defenses. Finally, Kyle's nerves went to a boil when Cartman asked to borrow a different pen (his was dying). Kyle looked from Cartman to his page full of notes, and flipped.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Kyle forcefully growled.

Cartman looked nonplussed. "It's call note taking, Kahl. Your people use it to help keep tabs on who owes them money."

Kyle ignored the jibe and pressed on. "I'm not talking about that, you asshole! I'm talking about the way you're acting tonight!"

Again, Cartman was confused. "Wait, you have a problem with me working on the project?"

"_No_," Kyle said, starting to feel a bit silly now. "You're being all…" _Nice. Considerate_, Kyle's brain supplied. _Friendly_.

"Look Kahl, I know that you've got a veritable beach full of sand in your vagina, but would you mind trying to not let it make you a whiny bitch?"

"But yesterday, you were a total ass!" Kyle cried out, confused. "You made Stan go emo, and you called me a fag!"

"Yeah, so? You both needed it. And I wasn't making fun of you for being a fag, so much as I was making fun of you for being a fag for _Stan_," Cartman elucidated in an uncharacteristically gentle manner. "It's not good for you to moon over a guy who will never return your feelings," He finished softly, looking away.

Kyle was hard pressed not to openly gape. "What-I mean- I'm _not_ gay for Stan!" He choked out, thrown off balance.

"Really? Then good for you. You'll be better off falling for some other guy than Stan Marsh. Seriouslah, that guy's never cared enough about you."

"Of _course_ he cares about me!" Kyle spat back. "And I'm not gay!" He added on a moment later, as an afterthought.

Cartman sighed as if frustrated. "If it came down between you and Wendy, who do you think he'd choose?"

Kyle looked away. "Neither. Both. I dunno," He _had_ actually thought that Stan would always back up his best friend before anyone else, but Cartman's question had put a seed of doubt in his mind.

Cartman looked at him as if he were mentally feeble. "You think that, huh?" Eric scooted his chair closer to the redhead, who nervously shifted back. If Eric noticed the action, he did not comment about it. "I'll bet that Stan'll be back together with Wendy in a month's time."

"No he won't! He told me himself that he was through with Wendy," Kyle returned uneasily.

"If you're so sure Kahl, then how about we make it a wager?" He leered, pressing closer. "Whoever's wrong has to spend a day as the other's personal slave."

Kyle paused, at a loss. As much as he wanted to believe what Stan said, they both knew that Stan was still lovesick from Wendy. However, that was a pretty steep wager; if he lost, Kyle was sure he'd be in for a world of pain and humiliation.

Kyle bit his lip as he made his decision. He trusted Stan's word."Fine," Kyle returned brusquely. "It's a bet." He turned to go back to work, and Kyle jumped when Cartman stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "What?" He grited out, finally irritated.

"Shake on it," Cartman said, holding out his hand.

Kyle looked at him quizzically; they'd never shook on any of their many previous bets. He obligingly shook his hand, and felt slightly unsettled by how the heavier boy held onto his hand.

" I'm going to have _so_ much when you're my bitch," He looked Kyle over, and the redhead quickly broke the handshake.

"In your dreams, fatass." He retorted, glaring. "You're the one that's going to lose."

After that the two got back to work, but the light camraderie from earlier had dissipated. Even though he knew it was silly, Kyle felt unreasonably anxious about the whole encounter.

After a half hour, the pair called it a night and Cartman went home.

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A/N: I just wanted to mention once more that I REALLY appreciate reviews :)


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: I'm going to warn you right now, the end of this chapter isn't going to be pretty. The story has always been rated M, but this is the first chapter where anything M-related occurs (for violence, language). Most of the chapter simply furthers the plot, but the end is meant to help explain the messed up mind of Eric Cartman. I don't want to give anything away, but keep this in mind: according to my story the female character has been doing the same thing for many years now. Cartman has some right to be angry.

To my reviewers: Yay! I'm so happy with the great response I got from last chapter. As a big thanks to you all, I got this next chapter out only four days! However, I'm going to warn you that this might have to tide you over for a while. I'm going on a vacation with my family, and will probably not have much time to update for the next two weeks :( . I'll try, but... vacation! You know?

I'd like to thank: **Velvet Black Rose** for reviewing once again. I really appreciate you taking the time to write a longer review. To **let's point out the obvious**: yeah, I know. But it makes for such a great plot thickener that I couldn't help myself. To **lunalovessouthpark**: I was actually eating pickles when I read your review. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. To **Newey**: Hope you like the new chapter! To **Hypothisos**: I'm glad you like. Speaking of betting, how about you and any reviewers that read this take bets in their reviews? The winners will get shiny pickles ;). To **The Brat Prince**: Thank you, I worked on them. I'm also trying to make sure to give my readers some sort of frame of reference for the general date of every chapter. Have any good ideas on the matter? To **mangotango**: Err... This _is_ labeled a Style for a reason. However, I'm not going to make Cartman 100% evil. Well, not without a reason, anyway. To **Queenofloveandhearts**: I'm taking you for your word, you know. I updated, and now I expect a review!

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Ch. 4

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It was Saturday night, and Stan's room was a mess.

He took a critical glance at the top he was wearing before taking it off and throwing it to the side. It made it's home amongst a small pile of other similarly cast garments as Stan continued to dig through his drawers.

Earlier that week, Stan had asked Kyle to come with him to the movies. That was all, nothing more: this wasn't a date Stan reminded himself. Over the past few weeks, Stan had been thinking about his and Kyle's relationship. What was currently a friendly, _platonic_ relationship, he reminded himself yet again.

Kyle had always been something closer than a friend to him, but Stan had grown up in a tiny hick town with simple hick logic: Boys like him dated girls like Wendy. It wasn't just rule, it was like written law, and people expected him to abide by it.

Stan indeed had abided by it for a long time, going through the prerequisite dates and the flirting and the romance. He was in love with the idea of being in love, and was waiting for that special feeling to wash through him.

Stan waited, and waited. He didn't get that special feeling with Wendy during middle school, but he figured that he was just too young. True love was something slow and building, after all. Then high school rolled by, and Stan was still left waiting. At some point during his freshmen year he became somewhat disillusioned with the idea of true love, and had figured that the close friendship that he shared with Wendy was enough. He was happy with her, comfortable even. They got along wonderfully, and even though he wasn't over the moon for Wendy, he could see himself establishing a family with her.

Their eventual break-up shattered Stan's dream, and he found himself suddenly seeing things much more clearly. While Stan mourned their relationship, he slowly came to realize that he wasn't mourning the loss of Wendy so much as the loss of his dream. With shocking awareness, he noticed how easily he could imagine interchanging Wendy for another person. She was just a component to his plan. Stan was eventually going to leave for college, anyhow: he could easily see another anonymous girl filling her place.

Only within the past year had he realized the only person he would truly miss would be Kyle. Kyle, who stuck with him through thin and thick. Kyle, who understood him. Kyle, who had grown up with, and had grown into a rather attractive young man. Stan had always recognized this in an abstract sort of way, never allowing himself to dwell on the fact or look at his best friend too long, but it was there.

He realized his picture-perfect dream was just that: a dream. He now wanted to shatter that idyllic stereotype, and see what life really had in store for him. So it was time to test the waters. Sure, this might not have been an actual date, but it was…something. As much as he didn't want to endanger their friendship, he wanted to see if the attraction was mutual. He had a sneaking suspicion that Kyle might have similar feelings, and wanted to find out for himself.

**********

Stan called Kyle as he pulled out of the driveway. The moment he heard the other end of the line pick up, he began talking."Hey Kyle, sorry I'm late! I'll be over at your place in five. Get your shit together so we can go immediately."

"Yeah, kay. Kenny and Cartman just showed up - can you bring them too?" Kyle asked. Stan internally groaned.

"Sure," Was Stan's peremptory response. He logically knew it was silly of him to feel annoyed that Cartman and Kenny had shown up- Stan hadn't specifically asked for Kyle to come alone, and it would be rude of Kyle to kick the other two out.

"Cool," Kyle responded. "We'll get ready."

"Okay, just make sure they're ready to go ASAP. We're already five minutes late." He returned. The two exchanged quick goodbyes and hung up.

*************

The movie was packed, and they could barely find one open seat together, let alone four. Kenny immediately zeroed in on a single seat next to a group of hot girls, and waved goodbye with a salute. "See you after the movie!"

That left the other three to find places. Kyle and Stan stuck together while trying to find open seats, but to no avail. "Guess I'll see you later, too?" Kyle said with an apologetic smile; the previews were almost over and the lights were out. They needed to find seats.

"Alright. Later," Said a frustrated Stan. He knew he hadn't prepared everything perfectly, but he _had_ expected to at least sit next to Kyle. He pushed his feelings of agitation aside, and found himself a seat.

Kyle meanwhile was having a bad time of it. By now, almost all the seats were taken and all that was left were the far wing seats. Determined not to sit in them, he took one more run though the theater.

"Psst!"

Kyle looked towards the noise to find a waving Cartman. He walked towards the boy. "I've got an open seat," Eric simply stated. Kyle looked at him sharply: Cartman's seats were pretty good, and it seemed rather suspicious that the seat right next to him just happened to be vacant. However, a seat was a seat and he thankfully sank into the proffered chair.

The movie started a moment later. Cartman settled himself in, arranging the nachos, skittles, coke, and popcorn on his lap. Kyle's suspicions rose: they'd barely had enough time to get into the movie, let alone buy candy.

"Who'd you terrorize to get all that food, fatass?" Kyle asked under his breath.

"The same person that gave up your seat," He whispered back, smirking.

"Cart-_man_!" Kyle hissed, and made to get up.

The fatass stopped him. "Where do you think you're going to sit, Jew? Get back here."

Cartman was of course right; there were no seats left. A few people were even sitting on the (rather disgusting) stairways, the movie was so packed.

"Would you get _down_?" A man heckled from behind.

"C'mon," Cartman murmured under his breath. "You can have some of the popcorn."

It was Kyle's best chance at having a seat, but his principles dictated that he not take it. However, whomever had vacated the seat wasn't going to get it back, so…It wouldn't hurt to sit down. Kyle would just keep the tidbit of the means by which he'd gotten the seat to himself.

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Fuckin' jew." He pushed the jumbo sized popcorn into Kyle's hands so he could focus on the nachos.

The rest of the movie went by without incidence. At first Kyle refrained from eating the popcorn, but as time passed and Cartman showed little interest in the food, he took a few welcome nibbles. The movie was fun and action-packed, but lacked the substance of a good plot line. Several times over Kyle couldn't help but share a snarky comment or two. For every smartass comment Kyle made, Cartman had a comment of his own. It was often a rude, racist, offensive comment, but even Kyle could admit that they were pretty damned funny.

Surprisingly enough, Kyle found that he actually kind of _liked_ Cartman's company. It came as just as much of a surprise to him as it did for Cartman, who was thinking the same thing.

Kyle and Cartman were still joking together at the end of the movie when Stan found them. He looked at the pair oddly; it was a rare occasion for the two to ever be laughing together, and it usually didn't bode well.

The last time the two were like this, it was after they had taken down a goody-two shoes transfer who had messed with Kyle's ranking and snitched on Cartman. They were in the right to take Leonard down- the kid had been plaigarizing- but it was still a bit brutal.

"Hey guys," He said tentatively. The two looked up, and Stan noticed with a sinking feeling that Kyle had only just now noticed his presence. "How'd you guys like the movie?"

"It was pretty fun, but a little stupid at times," Kyle responded, smiling.

"Yeah! Like with that scene with the motorcycle." The two make some sort of pop-a-wheelie gesture, clearly sharing an inside joke.

"You guys sat together?" Stan asked, surprised. Kyle however didn't notice his reaction.

"Yeah. I've got to go to the bathroom- be right back."

That left Stan and Cartman together to wait for the still absent Kenny. The two stood together in silence for a few moments before Stan finally dug for more info. "So… You two sat together, huh?" He awkwardly asked.

"Yeah. Kyle lucked out and found two seats together. I'm just glad that he called me over; that place was packed." Cartman breezily answered.

"Yeah," Stan returned with a sinking heart. Kyle had thought to sit with _Cartman_, of all people, before himself? He tried his best to not be affected, but that stung.

Thankfully Stan;s gloomy thoughts were cut off at the arrival of the fourth member of their group. Kenny strolled leisurely towards them, a girl adorning each arm. "Hey guys, I've got a different ride back tonight," he said with a shit-eating grin. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, see you," Stan returned with a disbelieving smile. "How _does_ he get all the chicks?" He said aloud, mostly to himself.

"It's the catholics' only strategy to continue the line: impregnate as many women as possible," Cartman returned sagely.

Kyle returned in time to see Kenny walking away, and chuckled. "I take it he's not coming back with us?" The other two shook their heads and they headed out.

***************

It was almost two by the time they made it back to South Park. Stan, who had been trying not to feel hurt since after the movie, was further dismayed by the conversation on the car ride home. He stopped at Kyle's house first since it was closest, and they all said their goodbyes.

"So you wanna hang out tomorrow, dude?" Stan asked Kyle, desperate for at least a little more interaction with his best friend.

"Sorry man, I can't. My folks are dragging me out to this Jewscouts festival, and then I have to do homework."

"But we're still on, right?" Cartman asked.

"Yeah. My family's heading back around seven, so come by my house at seven thrity. Bye, guys!" Kyle ran out and quietly let himself into the house.

A bolt of jealousy ran through Stan. "What are you guys doing together?" He asked, his voice laced with anger.

"I had the foul luck to be paired with _him_ for the AP U.S. History report. " He explained. "Goddamned jew is trying to out-jew me every step of the way," He grumbled.

"Right, Cartman," He moodily muttered. Stan was quickly losing patience with the night, and Cartman in particular. "Get out of my car," He said rather ungenerously as he pulled up to the other boy's house.

"Well look who turned into a bitch on the rag," Cartman flippantly snarked.

Stan had the wisdom not to respond, and instead made the fatass jump out of the way as he abruptly pulled out from the corner. While he drove back, Stan tapped his steering wheel in agitation: was something going on between Kyle and Cartman?

*************

Returning back home, Cartman chuckled. When he had overheard Stan and Kyle's plans to go to the movies together, he knew he'd have to somehow thwart it. However, things had gone even better than expected: not only was he able to crash their plans, but after bullying some snot-nosed froshie he was able to get Kyle all alone to himself.

Cartman had to admit that he even liked hanging out with Kyle, despite the physically trying process of insulting him less (he had to get into the redhead's good graces somehow). The jew was genuinely funny, and despite generally being a wholesome know-it-all, he had a dark and cutting sense of humor.

Now more than ever, it was easy to see why he wanted to bend Kyle to his will. That hippy jock Stan didn't deserve Kyle. With time he could mold the jew into the perfect obedient slut that Cartman wanted him to be. It would just take time.

So caught up in his own world, Eric only just noticed strange man coming down the staircase carrying a DVD player. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Cartman raged, and punched the guy square in the face. The man dropped the hardware with a crash as he covered his now heavily bleeding nose.

"You fucker!" The thief had the gall to yell. Cartman tried to kick him in the balls, but the man got out of the way. "Fucken bastard," He growled. "I'll kill you _and_ your two-cent whore of a mother!"

Cartman bit back an angry yell and took out his cell phone. "I'm calling the cops, you sleazy piece of horseshit, so you'd better run!" It was the same threat he used every time a john got out of hand.

The man, who had retreated back a safe distance, began to laugh. "Go on then, call them!" He chortled. "They'll book that cum depository you call a mother same as me!"

Cartman's blood boiled. Without even thinking, he hurled the cell phone as hard as he could into the man's face. The thief ducked, but his evasion had given Cartman enough time to land a solid punch on the man's jaw. The john fell down from the hit, and Cartman began furiously kicking him wherever he could, the whole time screaming profanities.

Cartman stopped minutes later, only after realizing that the john's blood was going to ruin the carpet. With his rage now spent, Cartman wiped the blood off his sneakers. "Get the fuck out of here," He said tiredly.

It took the thief a good three tries before he could stand up and limp his way out the door. Cartman locked the door behind him with a satisfying 'click'.

From behind, Cartman could hear a rustling. "Thanks for getting rid of him, snooky-poo," Came a worn voice. Cartman turned around to face his mother. "He was a very naughty man."

Even in the darkness, Cartman could see bruises marring his mother's face. Cartman growled. "You dumb bitch, what did I tell you about bringing them home?!"

Liane flinched. "It's just that, he wanted to-"

"I don't care what they want!" Eric roared. "You take them somewhere else, or I'll do you the favor to beat you myself after I've killed them!"

Liane retracted as if struck. "Of-of course, Eric," She quietly responded.

Cartman pushed by her and went up the stairs. "He ruined mah DVD player," Cartman said, turning. "Buy me a new one."

"Yes, snookums." Was her quiet response.

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**A/N**: As I said, pretty brutal. Well, please tell me what you think. Thanks!


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